


Whether You Fall

by Alithea



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-07 01:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1114070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alithea/pseuds/Alithea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shiori spent the summer making a new friend, but she's certain that her feelings are going to ruin everything. Takes place after the events of the series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: The Surfface of the Ordinary

**Author's Note:**

> Poetry is mine. 
> 
> Fic originally written in 2010.

On the very surface they were two ordinary girls sitting on the roof of their dormitory under a blue-black velvet sky. On the surface they were many things, but deep down, under the normality of what everyone else saw, there was a bit of light. It was a shine that only came through in barest of circumstances, the light of a distant star that can only be seen on the blackest of nights, far from the aura of the city. Two pin points of ordinary and subtle light, and one was older and much more faded, but she was still there with a tarnished shine.

Circumstances had thrown them together over the summer break and the frugality of the academy during breaks had made them roommates. They were nothing alike and yet it was possible to see how they were, in some ways, very much the same. The older of the two was likely to turn more heads in her direction simply because she had been involved in a very public breakup. The younger might only stand out from the crowd because of her vast optimism and plucky charm. They were as ill suited for each other as roommates could be, but as things went the situation worked itself out. It proved that nothing brings complete strangers together like boredom, and, particularly, a chatty and chipper girl who is determined to make the most of things. Energy like that refuses to be ignored, and, in fact, can be quite contagious even to a recovering liar.

The summer had been long enough to make them friends. Optimism claimed they would remain close for the rest of their years at the school. Reality made a bid that such things never lasted, but made for a nice life lesson in the end.

Neither girl was at a point in which they wished to think about what would happen when the new semester started. It loomed around the corner just a few days away. Early starters were already beginning to show up fresh from visiting their parents or from a pleasant vacation in a city that was not Ohtori. The girls had shared their envy over the lovely exploits that others would have over the summer break, and they shared their disappointment of being shuttered away in a boarding school.

Violet eyes and brown eyes stared up into the inky blackness of the sky and the girls' thoughts were hard to trace. One of them wished the summer would last forever, and the other wished it too, but knew that such wishes never came true even if they were believed in.

It was at that point a star flickered and dove from the sky until there was nothing left of it but the memory.

Violet eyes shut and made a wish.

Brown eyes shut and made a wish.

A slight breeze picked up through the warm air offering a cue that the two should head inside. They chatted as they moved from their places on the roof. The conversation was the type that typical teenagers have, which is to say, they spoke of anything except what they really wanted to say to each other. It weaved about from music to fashion. It sparked between them, a closeness that neither had felt in a long time. It reminded one of what she had lost to her own foolishness, and the other of what she gained and lost at a nearly constant rate.

Their voices trickled down the hollow of the stairwell, echoing behind and in front of them, giddy with laughter and the click of their shoes. There was a pause as the elder of the two felt overtaken by a little too much sentiment. It was all internal, and despite that, her outward carefree demeanor was no lie. She blamed it on the shine the other girl had, that infectious cheerfulness that made everything okay. It was the stock of the ordinary girl. It was the trade secret of ordinary girls everywhere. It made them stronger and reliable, but it was also what made them so easy to forget and taken for granted. The ordinary girl was always there with a smile to lift someone up.

And as the two paused for a long exchange of dialogue the elder girl with the violet eyes felt a stirring in her that reminded her of everything she had lost and could never fully regain. It went deeper than mere regret. It was coupled with a feeling she had only known once before in her life when she had seen sad and stoic hazel eyes drop every mask. The occasions were completely opposite from each other, but the feeling was the same, and came with its own name. It sat at the back of elder girl's mind and pushed forward with action before hesitation could even have the slightest chance of interfering.

That was the moment when Shiori Takatsuki kissed Wakaba Shinohara. It was such a free section in time, and hesitation, along with worry and regret, were having a hard time finding a way to sink in to either of the girls' heads to put a stop to it.

It didn't last long.

A shocked silence left the two staring at each other and blinking in confusion over what had just occurred. Finally, one spoke and it was the kind of apology that wasn't meant, but had to be said, and conversely did not want or need to be heard. It hit the air like soft pin pricks, a jagged little voice smoothing over the short phrase and making it regretfully sincere.

"I'm sorry."

"S'okay."

Shiori and Wakaba walked down the remaining flights of stairs and down the hall to their room in complete silence. They did not say good night to each other, and in the morning they pretended, as only ordinary girls can, that it had never happened.


	2. Chapter 1: Even Here We Are

_I'm nothing but regrets made whole  
I don't think this is something I can control  
Running away is so much easier to do  
If I pretend I'm running from you  
I won't say it makes any kind of sense  
But I'm so used to building my own kind of fence  
Lost in the humdrum of this dying day  
There's too much I'm not ready to really say_

Shiori had spent most of the day outside under the sun on a freshly cut patch of grass, that was neatly secluded, and just off a common path. It was possibly the one thing she always liked about the campus, the unbelievable amount of quite empty spaces that no one seemed to know about. She was there to avoid watching her roommate pack. It was the new semester after all, and the dorm assignments had been made. Students were scuttling around in nearly every corner moving back in from the summer break.

Part of her wanted to see if anyone she was acquainted with had returned back to the campus, but she wasn't as ready for company as she thought she was. Instead she skulked about, watched an old friend walk into her building, and then left to wile away a few hours in seclusion. All she could think of was the way she had spent her summer.

Thoughts of spending days wandering about the campus and the town, picking wild flowers, and wasting time just talking about everything she could with her roommate.

She was ill prepared to face up to the fact that she had kissed Wakaba. Part of her wasn't so sure she really had. She imagined herself drunk on the blackness of the sky, wishes, and falling stars, but Shiori couldn't lie like she used to. Every time she did she saw her ex-boyfriend's face and her stomach would knot up. So Shiori tried to think of something else, but came up empty handed and wound up wandering back towards her dorm.

The powers that controlled the room assignments seemed perpetually kind to her and aside from that summer Shiori had always been alone in her room, always a single. When she went to check the newest assignments she was staggered to find that, not only did she not have to switch rooms, but she was once again without a roommate. Normally, it would have felt like a private victory, but instead it just felt like nothing. There weren't enough descriptive words to properly place her feelings. She was very confused.

As she wandered back towards her room she caught a few whispers and glances from girls standing around the hallway that were left over jabs at her pride. She wished she knew why her public humiliation was still excellent fodder for gossip, but understood that the whispers would likely die away after about a week into the new semester. It was still hard for her to walk, what felt like, the gauntlet of cattiness.

The door to the room was open and she lingered in the doorway as she watched Wakaba rush around gathering up last minute odds and ends. It felt like regret, but it might also have been an ounce of shame that was stabbing at her. She wasn't sure anymore, but she had never quite felt the same way about anything. Something had changed within her during the course of her miserable rejection. It had given her courage to join the fencing club, and it had given her strength to try a little honesty, especially towards herself.

Shiori took a seat on her bed and watched as her roommate plucked a dying bundle of wild flowers out of the vase on the window and tossed them into the garbage. There was a feeling of waste that settled in on her. She wanted to cling to the sweetness that the flowers had brought, but the feeling left as Wakaba's voice broke in cheerfully over the busied silence.

"Is this your book or mine?"

"Yours."

"Ah." She bustled it away into her book bag and then stopped for a second catching her roommate's solemn demeanor and asked, "What's wrong?"

Shiori shrugged. Then she sighed and replied, "I'm going to miss having a roommate."

"See, I knew you'd get used to me." Was the cheerful reply followed with, "You could request to be given a roommate."

"I suppose." She frowned slightly as she saw herself trying to lie and said, "Um... You know, I think what I meant was that I'm going to miss-"

"I'm actually in the on campus dorms for once in my life," Wakaba interrupted. "It's not like I'll be in the Artic, although, I swear the off campus dorms never had working heat."

Violet eyes blinked in wonder. She recognized what was being done, because she had done it before. It felt odd. She wasn't being brushed off. She was being told to just forget about it and everything can just go back to normal. But she wondered how much of that were really true. As she was left pondering what she should or even could say next she heard the door close. Wakaba sat on the bed next to her and the way they purposefully kept from touching was just one more of those things that tolled the bell on whatever sort of friendship they had.

Shiori kept her eyes on the floor as she said, "You know if you want you could always catch me at fencing practice. Open practices are on Wednesdays and Fridays so you could-"

"That would be great. And if we happen to have the same lunch hour we could-"

"We could?"

"We could."

Wakaba reached out her hand and placed it on Shiori's for a second and then got up to grab her bag. Shiori's violet eyes stayed focused on the floor and she reminded herself that falling down wasn't so bad as long as she remembered to get back up. She wished she knew what was going on and why in the past the very idea of kissing a girl seemed completely wrong. Why did the thought have to change? Why had she done it in the first place?

She hated the questions in her head. She hated knowing that once again she was alone. It seemed the only constant in her life was that feeling, that feeling of worthlessness. It made everything terrible. It had turned her innocence into bitterness and made her misjudge others. For a short time that feeling had truly started to go away and now- Now there was this and she was back towards the beginning.

The door had shut and she had not heard it. She took a deep breath and lied down on her bed. If she hadn't already cried every last tear out of her body the semester before she probably would have wept. Instead there was only a sharp ache that refused to leave her throat. She hated the new semester already.

_I don't know anything about who I am  
Isn't that what this age is for  
Aren't I supposed to find that magic door  
And suddenly free I'll be able to see  
Exactly who I am  
I have no labels  
I haven't a clue  
All I do know is that I'm confused  
And it's too easy to call this a revelation  
Tell me when does the magic begin  
When does the real world end_

Sleep was becoming rather elusive. The past few weeks had redeveloped her routine with school, and she was in a state of hating most, if not all, of her classes, but worse than anything was Shiori's complete inability to reconnect with Wakaba. It was no help that the girl was in a different class, but that shouldn't have been that much of an obstacle. She hated to think about what it might mean. Either she was being purposefully avoided or life was just being difficult. It might have been both. It seemed definitely likely that it was both.

She had sneaked out of her room unable to stand the stifling and cloying emptiness of it. She wandered about and discovered the fencing hall was unlocked so she decided to hide away within its walls. Taking up residence on the hard floor and staring up into the rafters of the high ceiling, she shut her eyes and let her mind wander, and of course it wandered too far.

It was the uncertainty of everything that drove her crazy. It was the way things had been so perfectly fine one day and estranged the next. She reminded herself that that was one of the reasons she had always avoided making friends during her lonely stays on campus during school breaks. Things never lasted past the summer or winter. Things, no matter how right, always dropped off in the end. In a way it had to do with getting to know someone outside their general clique. People always changed when they weren't around their friends, or the people that they called friends. It was the curse of fitting in, and it mixed with the curse of the ordinary girl, the lonely girl.

She tried not to dwell on it. Her thoughts veered toward even more uncertain things, like that kiss. It bothered her that it didn't bother her. She felt as if it should.

Shiori made the mistake of wishing she had someone she could talk to, and unfortunately it was answered. She bit her lower lip when she heard footsteps enter the hall. She made an assumption about who it was, and didn't open her eyes to see if she was correct. Nothing was said though, and the owner of the footsteps merely took up residence next to her on the floor. And there they were, two young women laying on the floor of the fencing hall, violet eyes staying closed, and hazel staring up into the rafters. It was only a matter of time before the silence broke.

"You're lucky I didn't lock you in."

Violet eyes opened and Shiori replied, "I could have snuck out of one of the windows in the locker room."

There was a slight noise of movement and a sigh. "Having trouble sleeping?"

"Yes. You?"

"I just had a nagging feeling I had forgotten to lock up the fencing hall."

Shiori turned her head to catch a glimpse of light auburn locks shadowed by the darkness and half of what appeared to be an amused expression.

"It's not like you to forget to lock up, Juri."

There was a chuckle. "It's not like you to wander about the campus this late at night."

Violet eyes narrowed. "You set a trap."

"And I caught you." Juri shrugged a little. "I figured it was the only way I could get you alone to talk. We still tend to avoid each other, but we avoid each other for the wrong reasons I think."

Shiori wasn't sure what to say to that. She did avoid Juri, but not real avoidance. She was on the fencing team after all. She spoke to Juri at lunch and in the halls. But she never spoke to Juri alone. As long as someone else was in the vicinity it seemed safer to have a conversation with the fencing captain, her old friend, once enemy, and they had discussed things to a point, but conversation can only go so far with other people milling about. She had a lot to say to Juri that she didn't want to say, and she was almost certain the feeling was mutual. They would, on occasion, cut at each other without realizing it, a simple turn of phrase would do. It was hard to say if they realized what they were doing sometimes.

"You have shown improvement since last semester, but you still need to watch your ankles," Juri finally stated, tired of waiting out the silence.

"Thank you."

"Shiori?"

"Yes?"

"What's been bothering you?"

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again. It was hard to say how it was done. On one hand Shiori and Juri were terrible at reading each other, but on the other they read each other very well. The reasons why were hard to comprehend and Shiori knew that it wasn't the time to ponder that mystery. She opened her eyes again, the pale light from outside barely breaking through darkness of the hall.

"I made a new friend over the summer break."

Juri nodded. "That's good."

"I ruined everything a couple of days before the semester started."

"Oh?"

"I'm not sure why it happened, or why it ruins things," Shiori stated wanting and not wanting to reveal anything to Juri. She wasn't sure how the fencer would take it. It would certainly be a slight stab at her, especially after a conversation they had very briefly the semester before.

"What exactly did you do?"

"I kissed her."

Juri sighed, she hadn't much to say in response to that, but she had a feeling a little while back that a conversation of this sort would probably end up occurring. Did it hurt her that Shiori had kissed someone else? Of course it did, but not as much as not knowing what Shiori felt. This was mild by comparison, although she doubted her friend saw it that way. She let out another breath and then said, "I see."

"And then the next day came and we both acted like it never happened."

"Do you regret it?"

Confusion wrapped up about Shiori and then died quickly away when the answer flew out of her mouth, "No."

Hazel eyes half shut and Juri felt as if karma were engaging her in a private joke. She shook her head and asked, "So, what's the problem?"

A sigh, long and thoughtful left Shiori's lips and she sat up, hugging her knees into her chest. "I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"Everything."

Juri sat up and offered, "You have two choices Shiori, you either work out your feelings and try to discuss things with this girl-"

"Or?"

"Or you hold it all in, secretly wondering what could have or would have happened next, locking your emotions behind huge walls of stoicism until you are jaded, bitter, and locked in a cycle of unrequited love for the rest of your days."

Shiori arched and eyebrow and replied, "So... face the music or turn out like you?"

"You should be grateful you aren't anyone else," Juri said with a slightly wicked grin, "I've had students and teachers tossed out of this school for less."

And then they laughed. It was something they hadn't done in a while. Sometimes, Shiori considered, change wasn't such a terrible thing. They spent a little more time there and talked. It was a first since before Shiori had let her spite and hatred get the better of her. She liked the chances their strained friendship had for survival. It gave her hope in other matters. It made her wish, and it reminded her of what she always used to say. She was still terribly uncertain and confused about things, but she figured she was at a better starting point than she had been.

It was the next day at an open practice that Juri noticed someone in the gallery watching attentively. She had noticed the girl's presence over the last few weeks, but hadn't been certain about why or who she was there to watch. When she made the connection she wanted to laugh and wasn't sure whether to intervene in some way or to just let things work themselves out. It was a hard decision to make, but after recalling the words of her senpai she knew what to do, or rather, what she wasn't going to do.


	3. Chapter 2: Why We Had to Each Be Lonely

_I don't know who I am anymore_  
I thought I had a clue  
But I find I was just defined by you  
You've been gone now long enough  
That I find myself drowning in this rush  
I don't want to be a nobody  
But I can't stand the thought of being somebody  
Someone you'd notice 

The problem with princes, even ones that were not really princes, was that the mere existence of the title seemed to make them oblivious to the true feelings of those around them. Tatsuya was in no way an actual prince, but Wakaba had called him one when they were younger. She had crowned him her Onion Prince, and, like all princes, he just didn't know what to do with the title until it was too late. He was still the same, and it bothered her lately that he was such an understanding and nice guy.

It wasn't that she didn't want a nice guy, after everything she had experienced with Saionji, and then Utena (missing still and barely remembered) she wanted someone nice. But there was something bothersome about the relationship, because it felt like a pantomime of something she had wished for. She never dreamed or considered that the problem with getting something you wanted was getting what you had once wanted. There was a quote in that thought, but she couldn't recall who had said it or where she had heard it.

Wakaba was in deeper thought than normal, and the problem with what others perceived to be normal was that chipper, seemingly carefree girls who always had a smile, and an optimistic attitude about everything could never have any other mode unless something was wrong. And something was wrong, but it wasn't Wakaba's sudden look of perplexing thought, what was wrong was that she was purposely making a bigger deal out of Tatsuya and his faults as a nice guy instead of going deeper and finding that the real problem was that she was tired of being normal by preconceived standards.

Tatsuya had been working on his homework when he looked over at Wakaba and asked, because he wasn't paying attention, "What's wrong?"

"What?" Wakaba looked up and blinked.

"You looked lost in thought there. I thought there might be something wrong."

"No, everything's fine. I just…What day is it?"

"Wednesday." He thought for a moment and then grinned, "Afraid you'll miss watching your friend at practice?"

"What?" She had drifted off again.

"I just never figured you one for upperclassmen." He was trying to make a joke. It failed and he was suddenly concerned. "Wakaba, are you sure everything's okay?"

She nodded. "I have to…do something."

"Okay." He watched her move away from the table and walk off. He scowled. He should have gone after her, but he stayed at the table. He went back to his homework and sighed. He was being so inept, and he knew it. He just wasn't sure he wanted to press for answers, knowing that answers brought endings.

_When I cling to the answers that seem so real_  
I understand the illusion in them  
Why should I have myself figured out  
I thought that that was what this age is about  
But I feel for you in ways I oughtn't  
I think of you though you should be forgotten  
And what does it get me  
What does it get me  
I feel so empty 

There was a certain patch of jasmine bushes on the campus that never bloomed. They were surrounded by similar plants, but for whatever reason they remained dormant. Hardly anyone noticed them, but bees could always bee seen poking around on the leaves looking for flowers that were not there. Wakaba had noticed the spot over the summer and she had pointed it out to her roommate who stared at the patch for a long time and then smiled queerly.

Wakaba had never gotten her roommate to explain the smile, but she was beginning to feel as if she had an answer. That jasmine ardently refused to be what it was supposed to be. It was flying in the face of nature and just existing as a bush. And the bees were outsiders trying to make the jasmine conform. She shook her head. She was being silly, and over thinking everything.

She blamed her roommate. She blamed Shiori and that kiss she wanted to forget, because that kiss was almost the answer to a wish she had made that same night. Except that when she wished she was quite certain there was nothing involving another girl in the mix. She had wished for something ordinary, but she was given something that was on the outside. It seemed a cruelty to her, and because she was who she was she pretended quite valiantly that the kiss had never happened. And she could tell that Shiori was a little shocked to be so passive aggressively put off the subject.

Wakaba sat down on a bench and pinched the bridge of her nose. For while, after Utena had left the school, because of an accident, because she was expelled, because- No one could say for certain, and no one would say for certain. Wakaba had been fairly successful at being a fairly average girl without any ties to anyone extraordinary. She had a normal boyfriend, and a normal friend who liked to glomp her out of the blue, and then the normal all wore off and summer arrived.

Being fifteen now Wakaba had a vague sense that normal was relative. After all, there were many who thought she was strange with the way she acted. She didn't think it was that odd to be happy and enjoy life, but perhaps it was the excess with which she seemed to exclaim her bliss.

She looked over at the jasmine bush again. Soon it would be too cold for the bees and the flowers from the other bushes would drop, and the jasmine bush that wouldn't bloom would look just like every other jasmine bush along that path. It wouldn't stick out. It would blend in, and no one would think it was strange or bizarre at all.

The thought made her feel a little sick.

Before she could pull herself together there was a faint masculine cough behind her. She turned around and blinked in surprise, but smiled nonetheless.

"Hi." She said softly.

"Uh…Hello." He shut his green eyes and held something out. "I…I owe you this."

She shook her head and stood up. Walking over to him she took the outstretched pink envelope and opened it. The wooden leaf barrette inside sat in her palm and she shook her head.

"You really don't owe me anything." She said and then added, "But thank you…for this. I was beginning to think-"

"I'm not very good at this sort of thing, but it occurred to me that I should…I should start keeping my promises. I promised you one like this."

She closed her hand around the trinket and nodded. "You did."

He nodded and turned to walk away.

"Kyouichi?"

He turned around.

Wakaba looked at him, all of him. He had been so much of what she had wanted. He was handsome, and the captain of the kendo team. He was a fairly good student. He had so much of what others wanted, and he had broken her heart on more than one occasion. He was too proud to make this small declaration in public. He was still too arrogant to truly consider her, and it felt odd seeing all of that.

She walked up to him and hugged him. "You're an ass, you know? But you're an honorable ass."

He stood frozen for a moment in the embrace and then returned the gesture before breaking away. He looked at her and nodded once more, and then he turned and went on his way.

_I'm not ready for this_  
This feeling of everything coming together  
To make room for what's to come  
I'm tired of skirting this emotional edge  
This blade of adolescence  
When does it end  
When does it calm down  
Can I continue this way  
'Cos I don't know who I am  
I may never know who I am  
And I can see that I never really want to know  
Life won't let me just be  
So I guess I have to become 

The balcony in the fencing hall was moderately full of observers watching as the team ran through drills. The end of practice always ended with members facing off against the captain. Wakaba kept waiting for Shiori to step up and make a challenge, but so far she never had. She wondered what it was that Shiori was waiting for. Shiori had wanted to beat the fencing captain at least once, or so she had said. Maybe she didn't feel as if she were ready to make a move yet.

The last opponent stepped up and Wakaba watched with some disappointment as Shiori stayed on the sideline, but she was quite focused on the match. She was observing and there was a look on her face, a slight grin that Wakaba recognized from her time sharing a room with Shiori. It was calculating and drumming up mischief. Granted, the most mischief she and Shiori had ever gotten into was sneaking up to the roof to watch the stars or the one time they broke into the biology lab to see what it was that the teacher kept in the locked cabinets.

Wakaba smiled at the memory. It was such a disappointing adventure, but still an adventure. Absolutely mundane compared to things others had done, but most of life was, wasn't it?

Practice was over and generally Wakaba would filter out of the hall with the others and pretend she had never been there. She liked going because Shiori was her friend, except that she realized that she wasn't even treating Shiori like a friend. She shook her head and walked outside and then waited by the doors. Shiori emerged and smiled as she spotted Wakaba waiting.

"Hey."

Wakaba waved. "Hey." She smiled broadly, "You kicked some butt in there today."

"You think so?" Shiori shrugged. "For my grouping I'm doing okay."

"Is that why you haven't taken the captain to task?"

"Sort of." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You've been avoiding me."

Wakaba nodded. "I wanted to think."

"About what?"

"Nothing important." She felt herself blushing slightly. "Look, would it be weird for you to have a lowerclassmen as a friend?"

"No. I think it might help me with some much needed perspective."

"Now you're just making fun of me."

Shiori shook her head. "I'm not. I'm serious." She winked and then said, "Let me walk you to your dorm. You're on campus, right?"

"Yeah…Okay. You can tell me what I've missed so far."


	4. Chapter 3: The Archive of Our Failure

_Rain pours down washing away yesterday  
The sun and the blue sky  
The stars fade behind the night clouds  
And the song of sleep is far from my mind  
I can hear rivers rushing just outside  
And the light that shines from my window  
Shadows the dark night  
Deep inside my heart sits a waking dream  
That is imagined and carried out  
In the late hours of the night_

Shiori held out her umbrella as Wakaba parted from her boyfriend so that she could go watch the fencing practice for the day. It was a Friday and the first good autumn rain was coming down in a fierce torrent. As she watched the parting between boyfriend and girlfriend a reflection from the past rose in Shiori's memory. And just beyond that memory there was Ruka, mocking her with a grin that seemed to say, _"I won't let you have what you want. You still have crimes to pay for."_

She hated the way his ghost sneaked up on her.

Shiori grinned and as she and Wakaba walked along Shiori said, "He seems like a nice guy."

"What?" Wakaba looked over her shoulder at Tatsuya's retreating form. "Oh, yeah."

"Nice guys are hard to find."

"You never dated a nice guy?" Wakaba grinned, trying to be playful.

"One nice guy," Shiori said softly, and then said, "And one guy that- He might have been a nice guy somewhere inside. He just couldn't be a nice guy to me."

"Oh."

The conversation died there.

Overall, Shiori felt as if she were being rather noble about the entire situation. It was only in reflection that she found that she wasn't as noble as she thought she was. She kept thinking that she could break Wakaba and her boyfriend up, and then she would feel guilty for not wishing her friend well. She wanted Wakaba to be happy. She wanted to believe that as long as she knew a girl like Wakaba was out there she could be happy. She didn't need a happy ending. But that felt like utter bullshit some days. It wasn't enough just knowing Wakaba was out there. It wasn't enough just being friends when all Shiori really wanted to do was swoop in and give Wakaba an honest to God kiss.

There was, somewhere in her being, a voice that told her she was just being friendly so that she could eventually get what she wanted. She hated that voice. She hated that thought, because anyone who thought Shiori was just being nice so that she could get in Wakaba's pants wasn't paying attention. Shiori wanted to be friends. She wanted things to work out. It wasn't just about getting what she wanted. If that were the case she never would have stayed friends with Wakaba after she found out about the boyfriend.

She took a deep breath as the fencing hall came into view. She was in desperate need to blow off some steam and think about something other than her romantic troubles. Sometimes she was certain love was wasted on girls her age. Everything felt so much more dramatic than it probably was, desperate, longing, aching, and ultimately silly. That her feelings should feel so true and yet so absurd boggled her. There had to be an easier way to handle it all.

_I've written verses that I regret  
False confessions I thought I had meant  
But the years change my mind  
And I think this time  
I understand all the things those lines tried to say  
Written in metaphor'd decay  
Written on false hope and teenage dreams  
Why does it come too late  
The answer to our childish schemes_

"You haven't been sleeping." Juri said as she leaned into a set of lockers.

Shiori sighed, shut her locker, and then rested her head against the cool metal door. "I know, I know. I was awful today. Tripping over my own feet."

"You're going to end up with a sprained ankle."

Shiori looked over at Juri and then shook her head. She stood upright and asked, "What do you suggest? You've always been an insomniac."

"Normally, lots of exercise, no caffeine, and a hot shower, but-"

"But?" She arched an eyebrow.

"You still haven't discussed things with your friend have you?"

"Juri?"

"I'm just saying it might help to get some of your feelings off your chest." Juri said calmly. "Besides you don't have the same constitution I do. You won't last much longer if you keep it up."

Shiori scowled and then asked, "What does that mean, exactly?"

"You're moments away from having an emotional hissy fit. And I know because I remember that time in fifth grade wh-"

"Okay!" She said louder than she meant to. "Okay, I get the point."

"Good."

"Don't act so smug. It isn't as if you've done anything about the girl you like." Shiori said as she brushed past Juri leaving the locker room.

Juri shook her head and whispered, "I've only let her go again and again. Oh, Arisugawa, you do need to get over yourself."

_Entangled in the dark of my dreams  
Sometimes I see further than I should  
And then I wake snaked between my sheets  
Wishing they were you  
Entangled in the dark of my dreams  
Sometimes I forget that you are closer than you seem  
And then waking covered in my sheets  
I wish you weren't you_

Wakaba looked out of her window and tried to think of a good reason to leave her room. She wasn't sure where she would be going except that after she considered it for a while she realized that was a lie. She knew where she wanted to be going. She wanted to show up at Shiori's door and then- And then the thought ceased because she didn't want to leap over what she saw as a major line in the sand that would ruin everything else.

She found herself wishing that Tatsuya didn't like Shiori, but he did. He found her rather agreeable and an interesting companion during the lunch hours Shiori could join them. There was some slight prestige in having an upperclassmen at her table as well, but that didn't matter to Wakaba. She didn't want prestige. She just wanted to be.

Wakaba shut the curtains and plopped down on her bed. For reasons she couldn't fathom she thought about Utena. She had called Utena her prince, only she had been joking about it, and yet she hadn't been joking at all. There were things she had felt she wanted from Utena that Utena could never return, or acknowledge. It was so frustrating, especially after Utena started hanging around constantly with that Himemiya girl.

It seemed like everyone she liked in a slightly romantic way was oblivious to her true intentions. Except that, well, except that Shiori wasn't exactly oblivious. Shiori seemed to know, but she didn't act, and the why was probably because of Wakaba's own actions. And Tatsuya, Wakaba thought to herself, don't forget about him. It isn't fair to forget about him.

She shut her eyes. No it wasn't fair to forget about him. She took a deep breath and let it out. She had to talk to him. She wasn't being fair to him, and there was so much guilt in the thought of breaking up with him, but there was just as much guilt that accompanied staying with him. Everything was so damn complicated, was it always going to be that way? How did adults handle it?

She didn't know.

There was a knock at her door and for moment she considered ignoring it. She got up and walked over to the door and opened it. Shiori was standing there, smiling slightly, and holding a very damp arrangement of jasmine and baby's breath.

"Oh lord," Wakaba whispered without thinking.

Shiori frowned, but then the door swung open so she entered the room.

"Not in the mood for flowers?" Shiori asked.

"Not really." Wakaba said softly. "You're out and about late."

"I thought we should talk."

"Oh." She reached out and took the small bundle of flowers. They smelled of rain and mud, which was odd. "They're nice." She placed them gently on her desk. "You want to sit?"

"Sure." Shiori looked around and then with nodded permission she took a seat on Wakaba's bed. Wakaba sat down next to her and it was quiet for a long time before Shiori finally said, "We need to talk about this summer."

"We do?"

"We do." She looked into Wakaba's eyes. There was conflict there, doubt and uncertainty. "Um…look…I-"

But without any warning Wakaba kissed her, really kissed her. Shiori hadn't been kissed like that in a very long time.

"Wow," Shiori said once the kiss broke. "Well, that-"

"I can't do this." Wakaba said softly, she looked as if she were going to cry.

"What?"

"I can't be whatever it is you think I should be for you."

"But-"

"I'm sorry." And now Wakaba was crying.

Shiori, baffled and confused, stood from the bed and walked back to the door. "I-"

"Oh, just go!"

_And here we are without a happy ending  
Here we are without the things we want  
What is it tearing us apart  
Why can't you just tell me how you feel  
Why can't you just give me a clear answer  
I can't chase you because you have him  
I can't keep writing you poetry because it's tearing my insides apart  
But I can't take your rejection at face value  
I can't take this sudden burst of denial  
Still I have no idea where to go from here  
I have no idea what it is you need_


	5. Chapter 4: Everybody Just Won't Play the Lead

There was a slight knock on Shiori's door and then it opened and the lights were immediately flipped on. Shiori grumbled and grabbed a pillow placing it over her face.

"You're being ridiculous," the intruder said.

"Can you just let me handle this in my own way, Juri?" Shiori said from under the pillow, her words slightly muffled. She huffed and removed it and squinting from the light said, "You had years to mope and brood."

Juri sighed and sat on the bed. "I did have years to mope and brood, and what did that get me?"

Shiori sighed and put the pillow back over her face.

"Exactly," Juri said. "It got me absolutely nothing."

Shiori was going to say that Juri got a nice gold locket out of it, but bit her tongue. She winced in pain when Juri touched her ankle, and tossed the pillow at the young woman in self defense.

"I told you to watch those ankles." Juri said and took the pillow that had missed her, and used it to prop up Shiori's left foot that was wrapped in a bandage. "You're supposed to keep it elevated, and where is the ice pack the nurse gave you?"

"I don't know. Look, you don't have to fuss over me like a mother hen. I'll be fine." Shiori propped herself up slightly and added, "I haven't missed any classes or practices. It's just a stupid…" She trailed off and sighed, "Juri?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did she kiss me if she was just going to reject me?"

Juri located the errant icepack from Shiori's mini-fridge and stepped over to the bed. She placed the icepack around Shiori's ankle and then said, "Maybe she's afraid. You said she has a boyfriend? Maybe she doesn't know how to handle the situation. It isn't like you've been handling things like an adult."

"Well, I'm sixteen. According to the sex ed. class I'm a raging ball of hormones. It's impossible for me to handle things like an adult." She shut her eyes and lied back down. "God I hate it when you're right." She sighed, "It was like the best kiss ever too."

"Really?"

"Well, yes, technically, it was the best I've ever experienced."

"Technically?"

"I decided for my own sanity that I can't count anything that happened with Ruka," Shiori said softly. "I mean, it happened, but it was all performed under false pretense."

Juri shook her head. "You can just stop explaining there."

"Sorry."

"It's fine." She was about to stand up and leave, but she paused. "You shouldn't have gone to practice if you didn't feel up to it."

Shiori sat up again, resting her weight on her elbows. "I just thought a little exercise would help to keep me from doing something stupid. Blowing off steam was better than…Well, anything else I could think of."

"So, what are you going to do about things?"

"I don't know." She shut her eyes and took in a breath. "I guess I just…get over it…or-"

And for the second time in roughly a week Shiori found herself the captive of a kiss, but this one wasn't going to let her go. Juri pulled away and blinked back the surprise at herself.

"Juri…This is a bad idea." Shiori said.

"I know." She replied and kissed Shiori again.

"But…I don't-" Shiori tried to say but she was silenced again.

"I know you don't," Juri said softly. "I'm being completely selfish, but will you indulge me."

"I-"

Juri kissed her again and Shiori shut her eyes, pulling her closer.

_Falling in and out  
This isn't love  
Falling in and out  
Why are you doing this to me  
If you tease me with kisses  
And torture yourself with hope  
We'll keep making the same mistakes  
Falling in and out  
This isn't love  
Can't you see how you've ruined me_

Wakaba and Tatsuya sat together at lunch. She noticed Shiori at one of the far tables and shifted her view so that she could look at Tatsuya instead. He was trying to work out a physics problem and haphazardly eating a rice bowl at the same time. She stared down at her own lunch that was completely untouched. She let out an audible sigh and cursed herself for doing it.

"Are you alright," Tatsuya asked, looking up and noting the hint of melancholy along Wakaba's features.

"I'm fine."

"Did you and Shiori have a fight or something? I haven't seen her around lately."

"It was…" She shook her head, "We had a disagreement and so we aren't talking to each other."

He nodded. "I'm sure you'll work it out."

"I doubt it," Wakaba whispered.

Tatsuya nodded and then looked over, seeing Shiori in the distance. She was getting up from her lunch table and hobbling along on her crutches. One of the other members of the fencing team was helping her with her books.

"Looks like she hurt herself," he said softly.

"I hadn't noticed."

"Okay." He grimaced and went back to his work.

It was later in the day when Tatsuya decided to take things into his own hands. He thought it odd that Wakaba would just end a friendship that easily. He considered their childhood and how ardent she was when she liked someone. It wasn't like her to just walk away. He decided to wait outside the locker rooms and try and catch Shiori. He hoped she might shed some light on the situation.

"Ah, Miss Takatsuki?" He called as the fencing team slowly filtered out of the hall. She stopped on her crutches and he jogged after her. "Miss-"

"You can call me Shiori, Tatsuya." She held out her book bag and said, "Do me a favor will you?"

"Of course." He took her bag and they began to walk. He cleared his throat and said, "Wakaba's been moping about the last few weeks and I guess…I suppose you two had a fight or something."

Shiori nodded. "It was something like that. It's nice of you to try and patch things up, but she made it quite clear she didn't want to see me."

"Oh." He nodded and continued along side Shiori in silence for a while.

As they approached the dorms Tatsuya noticed that someone was coming up behind them. He caught sight of the fencing captain and paled slightly as she moved in stride with Shiori and himself. Shiori stopped and let out a deep breath.

"Juri, there you are." She looked over at Tatsuya and tried not to imagine what he was thinking.

"I thought I'd see if you needed…help." She raised an eyebrow and noticed the young man eying her carefully.

"Tatsuya is Wakaba's boyfriend. He just wanted to ask me a few things."

Tatsuya nodded, "I just thought I'd try and patch things up between the girls. But I guess-"

"Things aren't that easy to mend," Shiori said softly.

Tatsuya handed the book bag over to Juri and said, "I'm sorry to have troubled you."

He walked off and then stopped to observe the two young women. Shiori seemed irritated and Juri…His eyes widened when Juri kissed the top of Shiori's head. Maybe that was it, but- And he thought for a moment trying to determine why Shiori dating Juri would be such a big deal. Most people had heard the rumors about the fencing captain, and after all he thought Wakaba was more liberal minded than that.

He stalked off and decided to take a few days to mull things over.

_When what you see isn't what is  
What do you think  
Do you assume I'd forget you so easily  
Do you think I'd fly off for someone else  
That I want anything other than what I said  
When what you see isn't what is  
What do you think  
And why do I ask  
Knowing you'll never come to me for the truth_

Shiori sighed as she entered her room. Juri was right behind her. She sat on the bed and threw her crutches to the floor.

"Great."

"Worried about your reputation?" Juri asked.

"No, but…" She rolled her eyes and shook her head with exasperation. "Why do you have act like an over protective boyfriend?"

"Do I?"

"Yes," Shiori said quickly. "We aren't dating."

"I know." Juri said softly.

"I shouldn't have kissed you."

"I kissed you. That's entirely different." Juri said flatly. She sat on the bed and grinned slyly. "I told you I was sorry."

Shiori shut her eyes. She thought about the summer, and the kiss, the way she was drunk on the starlight and lost her senses. She lost her senses and did something bold. She was never good at being bold, or at least she didn't think of herself as being good at it.

"The first time," Shiori muttered, "I told her sorry too, but I wasn't."

Juri nodded and then said, "I meant it."

"Because you were just being selfish?"

"Sort of."

"Am I making things more complicated than they need to be?" Shiori asked and grabbed a pillow, hugging it tightly.

Juri shrugged. "Maybe, but I helped."

Shiori took hold of the pillow and hit Juri with it.

Juri just laughed.

_There are secrets I have that I can't tell you  
There are thoughts that I think that I can't show you  
For every bit of you I let into my heart  
There is more of me I lock away  
And I do it so I won't get hurt  
And I do it so I won't hurt you  
But it still hurts  
But I still hurt you  
And now I'm falling, diving, dying  
Drowning in this teenage sky_

Wakaba tried to have the good sense not to laugh out loud when Tatsuya revealed what he had seen and his thoughts on the matter. She tried, because he was just being a good guy, and he was trying to help and understand. She managed not to laugh, but she did grin. He gave her an odd look.

"So that isn't it?" He asked.

"No. I couldn't care less if she were dating the fencing captain." Except that was lie. She did care. She cared a lot, mostly because she couldn't compete with that. She wasn't a match in beauty, or wit, or anything when compared to Juri Arisugawa. She tried to imagine Shiori and Juri together, and on an aesthetic level it sort of made sense, but, and here she was adamant, and mostly for her own sake, but she knew Shiori, and there was no way she'd be able to put up with all that stoic nonsense Juri Arisugawa emanated over the whole of the student body.

"Then what was it?"

Wakaba frowned. "We need to talk."

"Aren't we already?"

"No," Wakaba said softly, "I mean _talk_."

Tatsuya blinked and said, "Oh."

"Yeah."

_I'm going a little mad as we make our way  
Want to take a chance or maybe I shouldn't say  
If we dance around each other like this  
Will we eventually meet in the middle to share a kiss  
And can that kiss be unlike any other time  
Can there finally be a reason to the infinite rhyme  
I want you  
I love you  
I need you  
Do you too?  
I'm going a little mad as we make our way  
Feel like a puppet, or an actor in a play  
If we dance together can we avoid the script  
If we dance together can we finally…  
Can we finally…follow our bliss_


	6. Chapter 5: Our Teenage Sky

_The rain, it keeps pouring down  
And the winter sky is here  
Even at night the stars are veiled  
The moon is hiding too  
I keep screwing things up  
I wish I knew what to do  
If the rain could fix my life  
It would wash away all my past  
I could finally go back to you  
Free to love you at last_

The Ohtori campus was damp from the seasonal rains, and the autumn was giving way to colder weather as the winter break loomed in the distance. It was going to be another vacation alone for Shiori. It was just the way things worked in her life. She'd probably receive a Christmas card in the mail and a letter or two from Juri, but just as in the summer she'd be alone. For the winter break the school didn't bother with new room assignments or trying to consolidate the small remaining student population. They just turned down the heat and made sure everyone had extra blankets.

Shiori had been off her crutches for about a month. She went to the gym as well as fencing practices in an effort to strengthen her ankles, and she took lunches alone most days as far from the rest of the student body as she could. And there was a part of her that was determined to remain as miserable as possible, but Juri refused to let her mope for too long.

Time had a funny way of making things from the past seem irrelevant. Shiori was feeling like old baggage a lot of the time when she was with Juri, because the stalwart captain of the fencing team had found herself the sudden object of affection from one of the team member's siblings. She was terribly jealous of the ease with which Juri seemed to achieve happiness, but despite the jealousy she refused to let Ruka's ghost goad her into feeling like a complete loser.

Shiori meandered along the winding paths of the school after the evening's fencing practice, and stopped along a large block of jasmine bushes that were dormant in the winter weather. She recalled something Wakaba had pointed out to her during the summer and tried to remember which patch of jasmine it was that never bloomed. She moved along letting her fingers glide along the damp bushes, until she stopped at one that had a small pink piece of string tied to it.

She grinned and touched the sting. It had been out in the rain too much and was about to fall apart. She dug in her book bag and pulled out a miscellaneous strand of brown ribbon. It had come from a school project, she thought it might have been an art book or something she had to bind, but it wasn't really important. She tied the ribbon to the bush making a neat bow, and then she wandered back to her dorm.

She was feeling a little tired. She needed to get some sleep, and she hoped that she'd be able to manage it once her head hit her pillow.

_I covet the stars and the light they bring  
My wanting leads me back to thinking of you  
Things I covet and never take  
Stars, princes, swords, and butterflies  
Girls who are just girls, and isn't that what you want  
I'm tired of princes  
I'm tired of living to be saved  
The illusion is stabbing me  
It's washed away in the rain  
And I see the real world, dark and dreary  
I see the real world and the sky above  
I covet the stars and all your love_

When she saw the ribbon Wakaba's first reaction was to tear it away, but then she looked at the color and found herself sighing. She felt as if the winter break was never going to arrive. Things felt all wrong and maybe after the break things could start over. She could try again, though not with Tatsuya, and she was desperate to avoid thinking about Shiori. Her thoughts for a new life on campus were just to blend in with the rest of the crowds, be the normal girl, and just concentrate on school work. Maybe she would join a club. She liked cooking. That would probably be a good club to join.

She felt ridiculous and terrible. She thought she'd feel less terrible after she broke up with Tatsuya, but then he had to be such a nice good guy about everything. He had to be understanding and cool about it. If he had at least caused a scene she could feel okay, but she didn't feel okay. She felt like a terrible person, and it was a ridiculous way to feel just because of a breakup.

Wakaba reached out and touched the ribbon. It was a familiar shade. She seemed to remember it from something, and she didn't want it to belong to who she thought it belonged to. That would be a bit too much. It would be too odd to have Shiori remember about the jasmine, because it would be romantic. Romance was the last thing she wanted to think about, and so of course it was all she was thinking about.

She left the jasmine and continued along on her walk. Just before she reached the path to her dorms the sky opened up and rain came down in a violent torrent. Not having an umbrella she ran for the nearest covering she saw. It was a gazebo, and as she looked over to see who was occupying the space with her she shook her head and cursed her rotten luck.

She kept her gaze straight ahead, watching students race around with umbrellas or books over their heads and run into buildings and under awnings. When she thought about it, the gazebo hand been a bad idea from the start, but now she couldn't just leave and run away into a random building.

Wakaba sighed and then said, "Are we going to ignore each other?"

"We don't have to," Juri said softly. She crossed her arms over her chest and then moved forward to lean against a semi-damp pillar that was closer to Wakaba's location. "Bad weather we're having."

"You know I'm still pretty pissed at you people." Wakaba said softly. "The ex-student council members, you all…" She trailed off and turned to face Juri. Juri had her eyes closed and a fist clenched. "It was a bad time for everyone, I guess," Wakaba said. "I suppose I can't exactly blame you."

Juri shrugged. "I don't want to get into it with you. Let's try another difficult subject instead."

Wakaba made a noise that was a cross between a huff and chuckle. She nodded and then said, "You and Shiori-"

"Are old friends," Juri cut in. "Though, I'm told I come across as an over bearing boyfriend."

"I suppose it can't be helped if you care about someone." She shook her head and then said, "You should make her challenge you during practice."

"I can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do. She's very stubborn like that." Juri shifted her position slightly, arms still crossed over her chest. "Sometimes I think she's just afraid of becoming great. Someone once forcefully showed her her place, and I think it might have cut at her confidence."

"Maybe she just wants to be a normal girl."

Juri nodded, "I think it's possible to be great and still be normal, but…I don't know. I'm not a good judge of her sometimes."

Wakaba tilted her head slightly and asked, "Why?"

"Because I keep forgetting she's not a fragile creature who needs my protection." Juri looked out across the paths. "The rains letting up, I should go." She stepped down onto the grass and then turned to look up at Wakaba. "She misses you," she said steadily, "You should visit her over the break. It's sort of a shame that she's always stuck here."

Wakaba nodded and then shook her head as Juri walked off. She crossed her arms over her chest and stomped her foot lightly. She was tired of the way things were going. The problem was, and it was only a silly fear, she wasn't sure exactly how to make things better.

_Tell me what I want to hear  
That you won't be a hero  
That you won't be a prince  
Tell me that you've cast off the metaphors of the past  
And that you are who you appear to be  
An ordinary girl, a lovely and warm revelation  
Someone searching as I am searching  
Someone without answers  
Tell me what I want to hear  
Tell me we can just be as we are  
Let me understand that this wishing  
Doesn't leave a lasting scar_

Winter break was already perfectly miserable. The weather got worse and Shiori was forced to spend more time indoors than she liked. There was a report she heard somewhere that it was going to snow, and she dreaded that. She didn't mind the rain, but she didn't want to spend too much time splashing in the puddles, because getting sick on top of everything else would just make her even more miserable.

She would, if the rain was light, go out and check on the condition of the jasmine. She replaced the ribbon once, but that was only because it was fraying at the ends. Otherwise she spent a lot of time reading and practicing her fencing drills in the middle of the hallway. She wasn't going get out of form just because it was break. She may have been a mediocre fencer, but it was better than being a complete failure. Average seemed to suit her state of mind, despite any secret wishes to be something more.

Shiori was rereading one of her favorite books, pencil in hand to underline favorite quotes, when a knock came to her door. It wasn't likely to be anyone she wanted it to be. She thought this because hoping for anything else, wishing for some sort of life affirming miracle seemed, at this point, rather silly. And, she supposed, as she shuffled towards her door, it wasn't even a life affirming miracle she was hoping for. She just wanted something good to happen.

She opened the door, and found her breath catching in her throat.

"Hi." Wakaba said.

"Hi." She blinked as her brain tried to give a nanosecond lecture about always believing in miracles that she couldn't even process.

"Can I come in? Your hallway is freezing."

"Of course." She opened the door wider and watched Wakaba enter. "You can sit…" She trailed off when she noticed Wakaba take an automatic seat on the bed. She shut the door and sat down next to Wakaba.

"I freaked out," Wakaba said softly.

"I know."

"I broke up with Tatsuya."

"I'm sorry." Shiori said.

"Really?" Wakaba grinned slightly, almost laughing.

"Okay, not really, but he is a good guy. It's…" She paused and then sighed. "I haven't seen you all break long."

"I was being silly and avoiding the outdoors." She grimaced and started to play with the edge of the sleeves to her sweater. "Shiori, I do…I really do like you."

Shiori nodded. "I like you too." She put her hand over her mouth and then huffed. She turned in her spot so she could get a better look at Wakaba. "If it's…" She shook her head and started again, "We can just be friends if everything else seems too weird."

"No we can't." Wakaba said quickly.

"What?"

"This is so stupid."

"Is it?" Shiori shrugged. "I guess it is." She leaned back on the bed and then said, "Wakaba?"

"Yes."

"Did you make a wish when we saw that falling star over the summer?"

"Yeah."

"What was it?"

Wakaba mirrored Shiori's position and then rolled over on her side to look at her companion's profile. She grinned and said, "If I tell you it won't come true."

"Really?" She smiled and rolled over to face Wakaba. "Will you freak out if I kiss you?"

"No."

Shiori smiled. "Good." She scooted closer and kissed Wakaba softly. Wakaba responded by completely pouncing on her and pinning her to the bed. "My goodness!"

"I'm just making sure you aren't going anywhere."

"Where else would I possibly go?"

Wakaba giggled and kissed her, deeply.

_All your love is shown  
And you're not alone  
Though it may not last  
I like the thought of us having a past  
And in the dream of youth  
Whispering forevers that may never come  
Finding I've found myself when it's all done  
I won't wish away these moments  
I don't find regret in your arms  
Let's make believe it's true love for now  
And that thought can keep us safe from harm_

End.


End file.
